Mutt’s new Bill of Well Regulated Rights
speaking via cell phone to a trucker friend of mine on such issues when the
idea for this came to me. So I’ll dedicate it to all the drivers out there
who understand the issues we face, and there are many, of both.
"...just because you have an individual right does not mean that the state or local government can't constrain the exercise of that right..." – Barrack Hussein Obama, 2008 Philadelphia primary debate
Note: (Unofficial) Press Release
Our soon to be sworn in elected dictator sees a need to clarify the basic rules we all exist under in this land of the cowardly and prostituted. In this spirit ‘official sources’ close to the Marxist Mutt have released his proposals through ‘back channel’ means as a way of ‘testing the winds,’ of public opinion. In other words they’ll continue the tradition of pretending to care what the sheeple really think(well, those who come close to thinking).
Please take special note of any real minor or major changes in policy:
The Marxist Mutt’s proposed new Bill of Well Regulated “Rights”
I. All citizens have a right to practice the religion of their choice unless the practice of said religion offends another citizen, government official, employee, enforcer or organic or in-organic life form in any way.*
II. The citizens have a right to beg for mercy though neither government agents(employees, elected officials or otherwise) nor common criminals are required to give a damn.*
III. The citizens have a right to bitch, moan and complain as long as they NEVER fight back.*
IV. However under certain conditions the citizens have a right to fight back against common and government criminals as long as a shovel is kept handy and there are no witnesses and the proper bribes and under-the-table donations are paid.*
V. All citizens have a right to voluntarily donate to all government programs as long as the suggested amount is provided.*
VI. Every citizen has a right to own a weapon(or any tool that may be perceived to be a weapon) as long as it’s not ugly, functional, or within a child’s(government property) reach or can’t be mistaken for a real weapon by a forensic specialist in a well-lit room.*
VII. Every citizen has a right to drive his/her/its own vehicle down a public highway as long as the proper government documents are kept on hand so the citizen and it’s property may be easily tracked and debited.*
VIII. All citizens have a right to ‘own’ property in the form of land, domiciles or other buildings as long as an annual rent is paid on each property to the local government officials so they may blow it as they see fit. (However we will soon transition to a system whereby all property is shared in kind and at any request at any time by any human, non-human, organic or in-organic life form.)*
IX. All citizens are allowed to marry another of their choice so long as the proper government documents are prepared and fees paid so the offspring(if possible at this or future times) of said union will become the undisputed property of the state.*
X. Each citizen is to be provided ‘free’ air, water, food and health care to the extent that said citizen is still useful to society as a whole.*
XI. Each citizen has a right to feel secure in his/her/its person such that the latest most technologically advanced tracking device is to be implanted at birth so no citizen may ever be in danger of feeling alone, left out or insecure.*
XII. All citizens have a natural born right to love Big Brother unless their love for Big Brother interferes with their ability to blindly and mindlessly follow his will.*
If any citizen is seeking clarification or feels we have neglected to cover any issue or regulate any ‘right’ he/she/it may submit a letter of request to the Department of Homeland Insincerity or attend a ‘town hall’ meeting within 6 months of election day for minor candidates or within a year and six months of the imaginary election of the temporary dictator at which time(s) the superior beings(and their servants) who run our global society will pretend to give a damn what the citizenry thinks.
Any citizen who decides the above ‘rights’ or interpretations of rights are somehow discriminatory should be reminded that representatives of said government(s) shall at any time come to any home, frighten or kill any spouse, children, relatives or household pets(legally licensed or not) and imprison or kill said citizen.
*For further clarification see Rule 88,978.456 sec 60,666, page 30,578 in volume 2,560 of the Karl Marx/Gaia Guidebooks. (Note: These regulations are subject to the whims of global, federal, regional and area officials, judges, investigators and enforcers).
(For the benefit of those without access to the Karl Marx/Gaia Guidebook here is the rule referred to above: “We, the superior beings of planet Earth, own each citizen, which in reality only exists to serve us, so claiming such ancient right to rule, we reserve the right to do with each citizen as we damn well please.”)